In case you haven’t noticed, I wasn’t too sure what to do with my life for the last two years or so. I made this podcast because, I had time, and I wanted to get my name out there. Also, I fell asleep twice during Ad Astra and thought it could do with a healthy dose of levity. Ironic, I know. I’m not going to stop, but it’s so nice to know what I want for the first time in three years.
It’s lovely to have a tangible goal to work towards.
DRAMA~~ as we start to wrap this season up, it’s…it’s drama. Because, I mean, this was always going somewhere and now we’ve almost reached it. I’m so excited and terrified and this has been so much fun and stress and fear and excitement. I’m not foolhardy enough to not see the flaws in my work or to think that this’ll be profoundly popular, but it’s really, really, hard not to get excited about the fact that I have a MOTHERFUCKING AUDIENCE.
9 months ago I started this knowing nothing and damn near had a heart attack just trying to post the thing. Now, I know a lot more (still less than what would be convenient), and the panic I feel when posting is…still awful, but now it’s predictable. And we’ve just crossed our 1000th download which means…fuckall, I have no idea how many or how few people are actually listening to this, but it’s exciting nonetheless.
These next few episodes are very emotion heavy. So, I picked a minisode that would help me practice. I think I liked the way it turned out. It was a conscious decision not to have Nova fall into the “stoic badass when hurt” category, and I think it works well with who she is.
Anyway, I hope this post finds everyone in slightly better straights than last week, or the week before that. Nothing has stopped, but changes are happening and there’s such a long way to go, but stuff is starting to move and isn’t that enough reason to be a little bit hopeful that maybe everything can one day be okay?
(This next portion gets political)
Probably not in my lifetime, but still…I just, I wasn’t made to be angry all the time. I can’t do it. I choose not to, and that doesn’t mean I’m turning a blind eye. That doesn’t mean I plan to stop struggling and fighting for what I think is right, I just choose not to let anger fuel me to do it. Anger is a strong emotion, which is exactly what makes it effective, but it burns everything. People have forgotten that no movement is ever pure, they forgot the purpose of allies and alliances, they think they can do everything by themselves and yet demand the allies they insult for never doing enough or for doing things for the wrong reasons shield them with their bodies.
You can’t have it both ways. Positive reinforcement is just as important in the educational process for 30 year olds as it is for kindergarteners. They’re driving people away for not being enough when literally anything would help. They spit at anything offered by the government without even reading the proposals (trust me, I’ve asked), it’s frustrating and everybody is hurt. I understand that, I really, really do, but to let anger guide all your decisions…well, it takes away the clever of the movement.
There needs to be a plan, shouting “Abolish the Police” means nothing if you don’t offer a comprehensive plan to fix it. For that we need politicians and allies. Yes, reinvest in communities, yes, take away qualified immunity, yes, to having a database of officers, and make them pay for their own lawsuits as the rest of the EMS system has to, but if you just say reinvest in the community, without pointing to exactly where that money should go, you risk corruption of the idea.
See the Cincinnati police investigation whatever. They have 5 “independent” investigators to look into police complaints. Yes, it’s likely exactly what people asked for, but they did not detail where these oversight investigators would come from and so they’re appointed by the councilors and mayor and well…many of them are sponsored by the police union. Not to mention that it only has $600,000 to it’s name.
In short, it’s a performative section that meets once a month and the only community outreach video is “How to Survive an Encounter with the Police” which…I have many strong feelings about…none of them positive.
Success has always depended on a mixture of brute strength and savviness, but right now, the savvy is missing. We need both, or we risk going the way of the Rodney King riots.
I don’t know what to do, there’s no fixing this. Anger is destroying the movement from the ground up, but maybe, just maybe, it can get something done first before it devours itself. I think it will. I hope it will.
I would apologize about going on this tangent, but this is all I can think about when not writing or recording. I’ve finally been able to force into something logical, but it’s hard. I’m trying to process a lot of things at once, so forgive me if I’m not making sense.
Jskrundz: carpet footsteps
Usamah: crouching and getting up dress
esperri 1: windchimes 1
soundsforhim: throwing clothes on the floor 2
twistedlemon: closing closet
lizanejordaan: clothes dropping
chubbers1995: fabric sounds
ddunkley: footsteps on metal
lowpolygon: heavy mechancial door open
dwoboyle: spaceship door open
dersuperanton: book closing
Caitlin 100: rummaging in a drawer
Theshaggyfreak: books falling
Flashtrauma: fidget cube
Inspector: accidental noise zoom h6
Gareth h: fingers tapping
slooshie-96: Footsteps on tiles
jandre160108: rummaging through items
moai15: writing pen 01
eskimoneil: pen tap on book
lloydevans09: metal drawer
bellick: hit table
jandre160108: dial turning
ragamuffin: male foot walk marble stereo
Unfa: short ping
Gthall: locker openclose
Japanyoshithegamer: 8 bit spaceship startup
Mkoenig: metal click sound
Coral island studios: 01 footsteps sand
Lowpolygon: heavy mechanical door open
Trebblofang: Spaceship engineroom 1
Editor adp: gooey squish
Samantha dolman: dragging body
Jmdh: body falling to floor
yolande180138: body movement
amoyssiadis: through a street market in sao paulo brazil feira
Dude by: Patrick Patrikios
Teller of the Tales by Kevin MacLeod