Alright, this week has been a week of revelations.
A lot of revelations.
Not entirely about the show, but not entirely divorced from it either.
But, let’s start with the show. I’ve always hated the trope where one person shares their trauma and it’s like some unspoken rule that the next person has to do the same. Like…I have friends with trauma, I’ve met a lot of people with trauma, and I very likely have some of my own, and no, just no.
I feel like that gives the false expectation that someone else’s trauma is something you have a right to, or something you need to *earn* to get access to. And the thing is, sometimes that’s how it works, and sometimes it’s not. There are things that happened to my friends that I will never know and that’s okay.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how trusted you are, they’ll just never tell you. And that’s okay too.
Also, I’ve realized I’m on the aro spectrum. Somewhere…I wrote Nova as aroace simply because I really didn’t want to deal with romance at the time. Every piece of media I’d been consuming had revolved around it and I was just…done with romance.
I never once thought that I might be on the aspec in that manner. But I made the announcement for Nova on international asexuality day, and the post didn’t spread very far, but it spread further than most posts and for some reason the image and the announcement made me a lot happier than it should have. And I was sitting there like…all my characters contain pieces of me, right? Maybe I was projecting something I wasn’t consciously aware of on Nova.
So I did some research and…yeah.
To be fair, the fact that I, as a child, wrote a new version of the princess and the frog in which the frog prince was happily enjoying his life and a romance mad princess chased him to the ends of the earth…might have been a sign.
But I just…didn’t have the words for it. I didn’t know how to explain what I wanted from people or how to get it. Like, a group of friends of mine keep jokingly bringing up buying a $1 castle and moving in together. And they’re like, in 20 years, if none of us are married or have partners and I’m sitting here like
DO IT NOW
I’LL BE THERE
EVEN IF I HAVE A CHILD (I do not have a child) I WILL GLEEFULLY UPROOT THEM AND LIVE IN A CASTLE WITH PEOPLE.
Anyway, it’s been lovely to have a word that helps me figure out how to communicate my needs (or lack thereof).
|clap single 10||inspectorj||https://freesound.org/people/InspectorJ/sounds/404541/|
|footsteps on metal||ddunkley||https://freesound.org/people/ddunkley/sounds/207405/|
|crouching and getting up dress||usamah||https://freesound.org/people/usamah/sounds/464995/|
|heavy fabric dancing||humga||https://freesound.org/people/humga/sounds/315749/|
|writing pen 01||moai15||https://freesound.org/people/moai15/sounds/336382/|
|hitting bed with pillow||krnash||https://freesound.org/people/krnash/sounds/389799/|
|A4 sheet of paper slide out from under another 2||ZapSplat||https://www.zapsplat.com/page/6/?s=paper&post_type=music&sound-effect-category-id|