Arc 2 Episode 9

Episode 9 Rewritten

Murmur of conversation

ANNOUNCEMENT

(In the distance, with faint music)

Welcome to Unia, proudly the 50th planet to join the Galactic Union.  Remember during your stay to follow regulations unique to Unia soil

  1. Do carry your tablet and ID on you at all times.  You may be asked for either in an emergency or non-emergency situation.  Both are required to board any form of transportation and to step into every building.
  2. Only Imperial Units are considered viable payment, use of any other currency will result in a fine up to $10,000 Imperial Units
  3. Do not try to trade, barter, or sell outside regulated areas, anyone caught breaking any such regulations may be held for trial.

NOVA

(under breath)

Fucking hate this planet

ATTENDANT

I.D.?

NOVA

They just checked on the ship

ATTENDANT

I wasn’t on the ship

NOVA

But you saw me step off it and walk ten meters to here, where I met you.

ATTENDANT

Is that a regulation translator?

NOVA

(Shortly)

Yes

ATTENDANT

Why are you wearing it?

NOVA

(Frustrated)

Because I don’t speak Galactic Common

ATTENDANT

Have you filled out the appropriate forms?

NOVA

No, it just hasn’t jammed itself since I’ve entered orbit because I’ve cast a magic spell that just nopes all your science to hell and back

ATTENDANT

Let me

NOVA

(sighs, setting tablet on table)

In order, my permission, his permission, our reason for visiting, and our I.D.s

ATTENDANT

I didn’t ask for all that

NOVA

Your parents must have loved you

ATTENDANT

At least I know mine. Convent raised, huh?

NOVA

My god kicked your god’s ass.

ATTENDANT

We have no official religion here.

NOVA

Kicked it right out of fucking existence.  You done?

ATTENDANT

(strained)

Enjoy your stay

NOVA

Pretty sure that’s not going to happen.  Come on pretty boy.

Grabbing things, shoving them in bags

Walking past the table

ATTENDANT 2

Enjoy your stay on Unia

NOVA

Oh my god, every last one of them, I’m going to lose it.

HATOV

Ehm

NOVA

Just a little further.

A high pitched whirring sounds

AD 1

Have you gotten the newest tablet?

NOVA

(disgusted)

Ugh, forgot about these things (beat) don’t just stand around pretty boy, you can walk right through them.

AD 2

Register your device today.  It’s important to make sure all devices are registered with both the Unia government and the Galactic Union

AD 2

(Pops up on Nova’s right)

Registration is simple and can be completed in under 10 imperial minutes.

NOVA

Oh my god, I’ve fucking done it.

AD 2

Thank you for your cooperation.

Ad restarts in the background

NOVA

(under breath)

Fucking ads, fucking holograms, goddamn cameras everywhere.

(beat) This should be far enough.  Galaxy Eyes, I’m returning the gift of speech.

HATOV

(Sighs)

Is it true that you don’t speak Galactic Common.  I’ve talked to you without the translator before

NOVA

Just because I can understand it, doesn’t mean I speak it.

HATOV

But

NOVA

Look, I don’t have much of a mind for languages.  I grew up reading scriptures, cooking pious meals, and trying to find god in lifeless little statues.  The sisters weren’t much for non-faith related activities.

AD 3

Have you considered ordering a meal from Sanar’s brewery?  We’re famous for our

NOVA

I hate everything about you.

AD 3

Thank you for your feedback

HATOV

Are all Union controlled planets like this?

NOVA

They wish.

HATOV

So these…things are

NOVA

Ads, just ad after fucking ad after fucking ad. 

AD 4

Do you have the latest tablet?

HATOV

No.  Nova, can (beat) can I buy a tablet?

AD 4

Of course, the latest tablet is sold at Sanar’s electronic emporium.  If you’d like to follow me.

NOVA

Goddammit, go tell Sanar he can go fuck himself.

AD 4

Thank you for your feedback

 HATOV

(outraged)

Nova!

NOVA

(mockingly)

Nova.  You have tablet money?

HATOV

I just wanted to look.

NOVA

Pretty Boy, this thing, with its soulless eyes, makes you want to buy whatever cursed object it’s selling?

HATOV

You’re exaggerating

NOVA

Look at it, it doesn’t even blink.

HATOV

Nova you don’t even believe in souls.

NOVA

No, I don’t believe in god, I believe in souls because souls are convenient.

HATOV

You’re trying to distract me.

NOVA

Dammit.

HATOV

Please, even a simple tablet will do.

NOVA

I wouldn’t let it anywhere near my ship anyway.  Their tech is bugged to hell. 

HATOV

But you found all the ones on the ship.  Is it really a problem

NOVA

I did not find all the ones on the ship.  I found their older models, I probably missed three or four, tonight’s going to be hell.

HATOV

Maybe you’re overreacting are all In—

Clasping a hand over Hatov’s mouth

NOVA

Pretty boy, we don’t talk about that here

HATOV

(muffled response)

But you never

NOVA

I need you to understand that we never talk about that here.  Okay? 

Nodding

Alright.  Come on, we’re heading down the (beat) nope, never mind.

Loud murmuring, a polite bell toll.  Sound of many people bowing

Nova turning quickly and walking away

HATOV

What is it?

NOVA

Something fucked up, let’s go.

HATOV

But (curious) what was that they were bowing to?

NOVA

Uh (beat) well that’s a hard question to answer pretty boy, short version, it’s the reason we need to take a bit of a detour.

HATOV

And the long explanation?

NOVA

Is very long and

HATOV

Is it dangerous to talk about?

NOVA

Not dangerous, they just give me the creeps, now come on.

HATOV

Nova, you won’t let me have a tablet, at least tell me what that is.

NOVA

Uhm (beat) fuck, not this alley (beat) uh, (beat) well, it’s a G.U. soldier (beat) sort of.

HATOV

That doesn’t look anything like the

NOVA

Yeah, no, nothing like the Republic.  This is a real deal G.U. bureaucrat, high up, big five descendant[TW1] .  Pure blood.

HATOV

Why are we running from them, they seemed nice.

NOVA

Not running.  Uhm (beat) here’s the thing, you can only cheat death for so long.  That thing traded most of it’s body away to stay alive longer.  It tossed it’s mind into the equivalent of a pickling jar and will keep going for as long as physically possible.

HATOV

So, forever?

NOVA

(strained laugh)

Not at all pretty boy.  Brains aren’t meant for jars.  The rejection’ll make the brain tissue swell and harden, the machine won’t work too hot with a fucked up interface.  The lack of feedback will result in a funny kind of isolation that’ll start warping the brain tissue and the brain itself will eventually fall apart.  It’s slow pretty boy, and it makes them very unpredictable.

HATOV

Then why were all those people surrounding them?  It almost looked like (peters out)

NOVA

They were worshipping them?

HATOV

Ehm, yes.

NOVA

Yeah, well, there’s no official religion on Unia, because the G.U. doesn’t like to advertise its members as gods, but…uh…that’s Unia’s church.

HATOV

That’s insa

NOVA

Trust me, it’s really, really not.  These people believe the G.U. was sent to rescue them, and they did.  Then they gifted them an immortal.

HATOV

But they’re not immortal.

NOVA

Live long enough, and even the promise of death seems like an illusion doesn’t it?

HATOV

But what if their god dies?

NOVA

They’ll do what every religion does. They’ll bring them back and call it a sign. The suit’s the same, who’ll really know the difference? 


 [TW1]

%d bloggers like this: