Episode 13 HATOV (beat) uhm…will this kill me? RANDOM SHOPKEEP (Growling, deep voice) It’s killed everyone of non-Gnorrian descent so far, but maybe you’ll get lucky. HATOV (beat) Is there anything here that won’t kill me? SAWA Nova has often picked the option on the far left. HATOV Does she like it? SAWA She finds most food on Gnorria-658 unpalatable. RANDOM SHOPKEEP (grumbles) Soft-stomached foreigners HATOV How do people live here? RANDOM SHOPKEEP They adapt. Now choose or leave. HATOV Ehm (beat) I’ll take that. RANDOM SHOPKEEP Good choice. Here or to go? HATOV (beat, confused) There are no tables here RANDOM SHOPKEEP Decide. HATOV What would Nova do? SAWA Nova would eat on the ship HATOV To go Sound of something wet and meaty landing on the counter, paper crackling. RANDOM SHOPKEEP That’ll be 45 imperial HATOV (beat) aren’t you supposed to cook it? RANDOM SHOPKEEP No HATOV (awkwardly) I don’t think I can RANDOM SHOPKEEP Meat on Gnorria does not cook HATOV I can’t eat it raw. RANDOM SHOPKEEP Pay or I’m calling the guards. HATOV (Long pause) Sawa? SAWA Payment confirmed. My apologies Hatov, but I am unable to carry that with my off-board model, will you be alright? HATOV (Long pause) I guess. SAWA Understood. SHOPKEEP Pleasure doing business. HATOV It was not. SHOPKEEP Then don’t come back. HATOV I hate everything on this stupid planet. Why did Wilm want this? Why did he want to be “Treated like everyone else”? SAWA I am unable to answer, who is Wilm? HATOV Nobody. Sound of door opening and wind HATOV This whole planet is awful. Why in the name of the goddess does it even exist? SAWA That question is illogical. Planets seem to have no reason for existing. HATOV I really need to find a way to update you SAWA Nova has indicated that my software is desirable as it is. HATOV Yes, yes, Nova this, Nova that. Can I at least have my own room on this goddess forsaken death trap? SAWA There is a spare room on the ship. HATOV (Outraged) What? SAWA There is another room on the ship. It is used for storing information, but most of it remains unused. There is a spare bed there as well. HATOV (offended and in disbelief) Then why was I sleeping on the floor? SAWA Nova keeps that room locked at all times. You’ve made 148 attempts to enter but have been unsuccessful. HATOV Do you think I could get into it? SAWA That seems unlikely. HATOV (mutters) I’m a prince of Eolara, I shouldn’t sleep on the floor. Do you know the passcode? SAWA No, that information has been wiped, though I can inform you when you get a digit right as the keypad emits a high pitched drone when you do. HATOV How many numbers have I gotten right? SAWA In all 148 attempts you have gotten two numbers correct in one attempt. HATOV This is hopeless (beat) or maybe (beat) you can tell me which number I get correct, no matter which part of this code I choose? SAWA That is correct HATOV Finally, security my royal ass. SAWA Following this course of action is ill-advised. HATOV Why? SAWA Nova has indicated that she prefers that room untouched. HATOV I’d prefer to be in it. I require a bed Sawa (mumbling) why can’t you see that? SAWA You did not require a bed when you were ill. HATOV (sighs) Yes, what was that? Why have I ended up here of all places? (steady beeping) Any digits in the right place? SAWA No. I repeat, this course of action is ill-advised. HATOV Please. I’ve had enough of this. If I have to eat like an animal, I will not be sleeping like one. (more beeps) Now? SAWA No digits were correct HATOV (More beeps) Any digits in this one? SAWA The third digit was correct (beeps) The first digit was correct (beeps) No digits were correct (beeps) The fourth digit was correct (beeps) The sixth digit was correct (beeps) No digits were correct (beeps) The second and seventh digits were correct HATOV That means the fifth digit was a nine. 3825968? SAWA That appears to be correct. HATOV (beeping ensues, followed by a very heavy thud) What the hell was that? SAWA Nova has indicated that she likes that room closed. HATOV (panicked) I could have died SAWA The actions you’ve taken were ill-advised. HATOV (Outraged) Deadly and ill-advised are two completely different things. SAWA Ill-advised actions are actions that if taken may lead to undesirable consequences. I assumed your death was a undesirable outcome. Was I incorrect? HATOV (Shortly) Technically, no. Was that even the right code? SAWA It seems unlikely. I appear to have been mistaken. The keypad tones were likely part of the trap. HATOV Why does this even exist? She doesn't even let people onto the ship. SAWA It would appear that this was intended for Jeanne. HATOV And the passcode? SAWA The digits correspond to letters spelling Fuck you HATOV Perfect.