Episode 16

Episode 16

Slight humming. Maybe eating chips.

HATOV

I can’t take it anymore.

NOVA

Three days, huh?  (mumbles) And this is a short jump too, we’ll stop tonight for a few hours.  Then we’ll start the second one.

HATOV

What am I supposed to do?

NOVA

I did give you a tablet.

HATOV

It’s not connected to the database.

NOVA

You really don’t listen to a thing I say, do you?  There’s still information on there.

HATOV

(Annoyed, speaking very slowly)

Without the auto-translation function I can’t read it.

NOVA

Oh yeah, I never updated that tablet.  Well at least the translator works.  Can’t read any of the 500 languages that thing can sift through?

HATOV

No

NOVA

Damn, that sucks.  Snack?

HATOV

I’m tired of snacks.  There’s nothing but snacks.

NOVA

Oh, here we go.

HATOV

And why don’t you have a kitchen?  No even better, what am I supposed to do?  It’s been three days of nothing!  You just sit there in your chair eating snacks and while away hours doing nothing!

NOVA

That’s not true, there’s an exercise chamber in the back.  I go there too.

HATOV

There’s a single sack hanging from the ceiling and you just hit it!

NOVA

So you’re saying, my beating the sack is bothering you?

HATOV

Yes!

NOVA

Can you say that back to me, but slower?

HATOV

You’re beating a (beat) you’re a child.

NOVA

Well, I’m an entertained child.

HATOV

The least you could do is

NOVA

What?  Stop reading a poorly written, raunchy love story about two Vioprans just trying to make things work and listen to you bitch about the same shit you bitched about yesterday?

HATOV

(Defensively)

Yesterday’s complaints were different.

NOVA

I sat through them all and I’m going to tell you that they were not. 

HATOV

Can we please turn on Sawa?

NOVA

Do you want to die?

HATOV

You’re exaggerating.  She’s an older model but she can’t be affecting the  

NOVA

Pretty boy, this is not up for discussion. She stays off, understood?

HATOV

Then we (beat) we can talk?

NOVA

Doubt it, you want to ask questions.  I’m not really about that and you don’t want to tell me about yourself either, we’re going to get nowhere pretty damn fast.

HATOV

(Petulantly)

You could at least try.

NOVA

Once again, we did this song and dance yesterday. You just want to bitch.  Go find a friendly looking wall and try talking to that. 

HATOV

Walking away

 The worst, the absolute worst.

Walks into echoish chamber

A thwacking sounds as he hits the bag.

(muttering)

Ow.  Why does she do this?

(pause)

She’s ridiculous.  The droid will at least talk to me. (Obviously making excuses) I need to learn more, and I can’t read and (beat) she’s an Inco, not a mechanic.  I’ll just take a few minutes.

(pause)

2 minutes.  She’ll never know.

(beat)

Just a moment, one question.

(beat)

It’s perfectly reasonable. And then I’ll turn her (beat) off.

Yes, I’ll turn her off.

(beat)

HATOV searching like the irresponsible douche he is

Sawa, please.  Somewhere over here, maybe?  I think?  Nova’s small and old androids were heavy, so she couldn’t have gotten her that far.

(Pause, relieved breath)

There you are.  Uhm how do I turn you on?  I think it was (beat) here?

SAWA

Hello, I’m SAWA your life support system and aid.  How may I help you?

A sharp beep and a stop

HATOV

(nervously, breathily)

I (beat) I wanted to know, if Nova has heard anything of Wilm? Or if you had?  Is there any mention of him in your memories?  She said she received a message, of some sort?

SAWA

I’m sorry, I do not understand the question.

Another beep

HATOV

Wilm, uhm W-I-L-M.  Has there been any information on a man named Wilm?

Alarm goes off.

NOVA

(In background)

What the fuck?

Ship creaks and groans.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.  Space boy?

SAWA

There is no record of a Wilm.

HATOV

Has she altered your memory recently?

SAWA

There’s no record of any such tampering, but there’s no guarantee that she hasn’t changed the records of such an event.

HATOV

Okay (beat) uhm, how do I turn you off?

NOVA

(furious)

I’m beginning to understand why someone would throw you out the goddamned airlock

Stumble and a shove

SAWA

To turn me off, you would have to

Sawa powers off.

NOVA

Get to the front and strap yourself the fuck in.

HATOV

You don’t need to

NOVA

(a shove and fading, heavy footsteps on metal)

Now, or die.  God fucking dammit

HATOV

It was just a few moments.

NOVA

I said Sawa and the ship can’t run at the same time!  Did I stutter?  Was I somehow fucking unclear?

HATOV

Why the alarm?

NOVA

Really?  Are you really this damn stupid?  Fuck, fuck, fuck

Sound of switches.  Power down.

Alarm stops

And now we have no power for the rest of the evening.  You better pray to whatever god decided a fuckwit like you was worth keeping alive.  Fucking hell. 

HATOV

There’s no need to be upset.  Just stop the ship.

NOVA

(In disbelief)

You really do want to die.

HATOV

(Peevishly)

How does wanting to stop translate to me wanting to die?

NOVA

Have you ever dropped an egg?  Well right when it hits the floor, that’s when it “suddenly” stops bright eyes. Unless you’re very, very durable, you’ll become a pretty fine dusting of space blood and viscera.

HATOV

That’s unnecessarily vivid.

NOVA

Teeny, tiny floating particles, interspersed with particles of metal, because the damned ship will be shredded to itty-bitty particles as well!

HATOV

I didn’t know.

NOVA

(Frustrated)

I went over this multiple

(sighs)

You know what?

Clattering

Hold out your wrist.

HATOV

Why?

NOVA

Because if you don’t offer it, I’ll do my damndest to break it.

HATOV

You’re threatening me?

NOVA

Oh, it’s a promise pretty boy.

HATOV

That’s an offense punishable by death.

NOVA

Oh yes, you and your very fucking far army are going to stop me.  Give me your hand, now.

HATOV

You will not order me

NOVA

For the love of

HATOV

Ow!

Clinking of handcuffs

What is this?

Clinking as he pulls the chains

Did you just lock me to the chair you

High pitched whine

NOVA

(annoyed)

Ah

Sound of clattering

This is now the shame corner.  You will either become the physical embodiment of all the shame every self-entitled shit should die with or you will learn to be ashamed of the fuckery you just pulled.  Fuck if I care which path you choose.  Until then be bored, be annoyed, be the awful prick you desire to be, but you will be it in this corner.

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