Episode 20: Bell jingles Major waiting room music in the background RECEPTIONIST A: (Cheerfully, major nerd voice) Hello, welcome to the galactic embassy. Have you made an appointment? HATOV Uhm (beat) an appointment? RECEPTIONIST A: In order to proceed, you have to fill the appropriate forms. Tablets are over there. Once you submit your request you will be a assigned a number. Said number will eventually appear on that screen over there. When it does you will approach that desk and you will be assigned a representative. You will have ten imperial minutes to speak with them. If we find your request requires more time to address, the representative will give you more directions. HATOV (Confused) This is wrong. I’ve never had to fill out a report RECEPTIONIST A: Less populated planets are less likely to have long lines. Please pick a tablet and take a seat. HATOV But I can’t (beat) are these connected to the galactic database? RECEPTIONIST (Beat) Of course. All tablets are within two updates to the current software standards. HATOV Okay. (Grabs tablet) Footsteps fall and sounds of sitting. A few moments pass, swiping Tapping No Aggressive tapping No. Goddess, please. Sighs Footsteps sound This is not as up to date as you claimed. You’re missing a few languages RECEPTIONIST A Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to return to your seat until your number is called. HATOV I need a newer tablet. RECEPTIONIST A You’re free to sort through all the ones in the box. Sound of moving things Button clicks Swiping More sounds of moving things interspersed with denial Footsteps, sound of basket hitting table HATOV None of these. RECEPTIONIST A Sir please return to your seat and submit your request. HATOV None of these work. You said they were all connected to the galactic database. That means they should have an auto translation function, but it’s not working. RECEPTIONIST A Sound of rustling tablets Button click, swiping Excuse me. I’m in need of assistance. RECEPTIONIST B (high pitched decidedly feminine) What’s going on? RECEPTIONIST A The customer appears to be having trouble with the tablet RECEPTIONIST B Ah, yeah, the button’s a little sticky on that one. Try clicking it twice. Two button clicks RECEPTIONIST A Thanks. Sir, this one seems to be in working order. Sound of tablet sliding across the table. So, if you could please go back to seat and submit your request RECEPTIONIST B Sorry, the androids aren’t always the best when dealing with non-linear problems. HATOV (Frustrated) Swiping No. I can’t read this. RECEPTIONIST A Sir, I guarantee you we are following embassy standards, if you can’t read it, it’s likely your home planet or tribe is unassociated with the galactic union. HATOV The galactic union has an embassy a moment’s walk from my home. And the auto-translation function works fine on planet. Why does it not work here? RECEPTIONIST A I’m sorry, sir, but I’m unable to answer that question. RECEPTIONIST B Sorry, may I ask which language you’re looking for? HATOV Oosfathi? RECEPTIONIST B Please search the database for Oo (beat) Oosfathi Dinging RECEPTIONIST A There is no language registered under that name. RECEPTIONIST B (Interrupting) Which planet are you from? HATOV Eolara. RECEPTIONIST B Oh, I thought there was something actually wrong. Eolara? You can’t play with the droids like that. The ones used for embassy work haven’t been given a sense of humor. HATOV I wasn’t joki RECEPTIONIST A Excuse me. Your search just now has been looked into. A representative is waiting for you. Please approach the desk on the far side of the room. HATOV And the number? RECEPTIONIST A Is no longer required. RECEPTIONIST B Okay, well, whatever. HATOV …okay. BRAYLIN Hello, hello. Are you the one asking about Oosfathi? HATOV Uh, yes. BRAYLIN (Raspy, confident voice) Wonderful to meet you. I'm called Braylin Laen. You are? HATOV (Uncertainly) I am called (Beat) Wilm. BRAYLIN (Business grin, he knows something) Wilm? Ah, wonderful. Follow me (Door closes) . What exactly were you looking for? HATOV I am looking for a way home. BRAYLIN Candy? HATOV No. BRAYLIN Shame, more for me, I guess. And where would home be young man? HATOV Umm (Beat) ah, Eolara. BRAYLIN I have to tell you that that is a truly unusual request. You know, out here, Eolara’s more of a children’s story than anything else. Or maybe that’s a little wrong (beat) some religions see it as the home of all creation, some use it as a story of warning, false cities used to make a point and whatnot. Not many people think it’s (beat) real. HATOV So I’ve learned. BRAYLIN And you, mister Wilm. Or I suppose that’s more likely uhm, prince Wilm is it? How did you get so far out? The Union has been looking everywhere for you. Sorry if the effort isn’t apparent. The process is a bit, uh, complicated since it’s not really possible to send out missing person’s reports since it’s hard to describe you or which planet you’re supposed to be returned to. HATOV Why is that? Why doesn’t anyone know what Eolara is? BRAYLIN I’m afraid that’s something you’d have to ask the higher ups. It must have been very hard for you. I understand things here may seem backwards but HATOV If you can’t explain it then bring me someone who can. Why is Eolara being purposefully isolated by the Galactic Union. Was it a request from my father? BRAYLIN Well, it’s only been part of the union for ten or eleven years. It takes time for full membership to be reached and HATOV What about Gnorria-658, that’s a new galactic union member but 132 species live there, which means its borders have at least been open. It looks like people know it exists at the very least. BRAYLIN Well, Gnorria’s a special case. What with the Vraka and Calvara dispute and HATOV But people know it exists, its language is in the translators and has been for a long time. I’m not even speaking Oosfathi right now, I’m speaking whatever language I was taught to communicate with the embassy while Oosfathi was being mapped. BRAYLIN Galactic Common. Your grasp of it is very impressive you should be proud. HATOV (annoyed) You’re not answering my questions. BRAYLIN Wilm, I don’t think you understand, Eolara is a very new acquisition. HATOV Acquisition? BRAYLIN Sorry, member. I meant member. HATOV No, you (beat) what exactly is the galactic embassy doing on Eolara? You’ve given us tablets and I know father is negotiating some sort of deal but (beat) we don’t really need one. BRAYLIN Well, it would help the economy and HATOV Eolara is already wealthy, and our citizens are comfortable. The only thing the galactic union has to offer is communication and connection with the rest of the galaxy (beat) which you aren’t doing. BRAYLIN (Slowly getting flustered) (Stuttering) W-well, I will say again that Eolara is a pretty new, I men extremely new territory and what with your religion and HATOV (Slowly) But androids have been on planet for decades, we’ve been getting them from you. You’ve known about us for a long time, haven’t you? Why are you hiding us? What do you gain from this? What are we losing when we use your “gifts”? BRAYLIN Wilm, uhm, prince. You’re getting agitated. Is your mask on a bit too tight? You know too much oxygen can make things a bit (beat) uhm, people such as yourself a bit excitable. Chair clattering HATOV No, I’m doing very well. I just (beat) I need to think things over. I’ll come tomorrow and we can discuss specifics then. BRAYLIN Oh, there’s no need to leave. There are rooms for a prince such as yourself to stay in. HATOV Release me BRAYLIN I’m afraid I’m not supposed to let you leave. We’ve been searching for you everywhere. HATOV So, I’m not allowed to come and go as I please? BRAYLIN Uhm, not at the moment. HATOV So, I’m a prisoner. BRAYLIN No, never, please calm down. If you wait just a few minutes the guards will escort you to a room appropriate for one of your status. HATOV And if I don’t want to go? BRAYLIN I request that you stay for a few minutes. HATOV Can I leave that room when I want to? BRAYLIN Well HATOV Then I’ll be taking my leave. BRAYLIN (Heavy sigh) Of (beat) of course, prince Wilm. Just request me at the front desk when you wish to talk again.