Episode 30

Episode 30
TAG AS TW: Panic Attacks
NOVA
I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have done that, I should not have done that.
 
SAWA
Your heart rate and respiratory rate have increased.  Try taking deep breaths.
 
NOVA
I’m fine
 
SAWA
You are not fine, but
 
NOVA
(strained)
Shut up.
 
SAWA
Protocol indicates that I should not comply.
 
NOVA
(reedy, stressed)
Oh my god.
 
SAWA
Deep breaths can help.
 
NOVA
(swallowing/struggling)
Shit, I’ll be fine.  It’ll pass.
 
SAWA
It will pass.  Would leaving the room help?
 
NOVA
(pause)
Yeah, it would.  I (beat) I need to (quietly to herself) goddammit, I handled that all wrong.  Did he have his goggles?
 
SAWA
Take time to focus on yourself.
 
NOVA
Uh-huh, that’d be the smart thing to (beat) ah, fucking, shit, deep breaths, right?
Breathes
SAWA
Yes. Would you like me to help?
 
NOVA
Just (beat, strained) what number am I on?
 
SAWA
Four
 
NOVA
Ah, this is bad.  Sawa, uhm, tell me a story?
 
SAWA
I do not have any stories in my archives
 
NOVA
Ah, yeah, uh-huh.  Then (beat) I’ll just stay here on the floor for a couple minutes.
 
SAWA
You are safe.
 
NOVA
Uh-huh.
 
SAWA
Nothing here can hurt you.
 
NOVA
That’s patently false.
 
SAWA
This will pass
 
NOVA
That one’s true.
 
SAWA
(beat)
The ship is blue
 
NOVA
False
 
SAWA
We’re currently on Gnorria-658
 
NOVA
False
 
SAWA
There is a hallucinogen in the atmosphere.
 
NOVA
(beat)
Holy shit, did he take the rebreather?
 
SAWA
True or false?
 
NOVA
True.  Sawa did he take the rebreather?
 
SAWA
I do not know.  Nova are you feeling better?
 
NOVA
I’m feeling functional.
 
SAWA
You should stay.
 
NOVA
(Thinly)
Exercise is supposed to help, right?
 
SAWA
That is correct, however­ in this situ(ation)
 
NOVA
Then I’m going to exercise.
 
SAWA
Protocol indicates that focusing on your surroundings or starting a chant would be more beneficial.
 
NOVA
(struggling to her feet, stumbling)
Aw, shit, dammit.  Why’s the room always gotta fucking spin?  Sawa, I would love to do that, but time is a factor and most of this is in my head.
 
SAWA
That does not make it less important.
 
NOVA
(long pause)
What if something bad happens to him?
 
SAWA
I will care for him. He is part of the crew.
 
NOVA
He’s not like me, he isn’t chipped.  You can’t locate him if he disappears.
 
SAWA
That is correct.
 
NOVA
God, he’s so fucking stupid.  (beat)
A red sun rose over a clumsy nun. 
Her habit askew it dipped in the stew
and her prayers were all poorly said
 but the father who taught her never could stop her
for the road of the devout she did tread.
(beat)
I don’t have time for this, I have to go.
 
SAWA
Nova leaving is not an action I can suggest.
 
NOVA
(Groans, frustrated, sinking back to the floor)
Ah goddamn it.  I need to go.
 
SAWA
That action is not something I can suggest.
 
NOVA
A red sun rose over the bed of a clumsy nun. 
Her habit askew it dipped in the stew (peters out)
 
SAWA
I am here if you need anything.
 
NOVA
(muffled, sound of legs drawing inward)
I know Sawa (beat) you’re good that way.  Thank you, really. 
 
SAWA
You’re very welcome captain
 
NOVA
(beat) Do you think he’ll be able to handle himself until I can (beat) pull myself together?
 
SAWA
  There are many factors.
 
NOVA
Mmmm
A red sun rose over a clumsy nun. 
Her habit askew it dipped in the stew
and her prayers were all poorly said
 but the father who taught her never could stop her
for the road of the devout she did tread.
A red sun rose over a clumsy nun. 
Her habit askew it dipped in the stew
and her prayers were all poorly said
 but the father who taught her never could stop her
for the road of the devout she did tread.
(sighs)
Sawa?
 
SAWA
Yes Nova?
 
NOVA
Come over here.
 
SAWA
Yes Nova.
Sound of footsteps
 
NOVA
Sit down
 
SAWA
Is there anything else you want me to do?
 
NOVA
(slowly and thoughtfully, she’s not good at putting her emotions into words)
Just (beat) just stay here, alright?  I (beat) I didn’t expect to be in here today.  I wasn’t prepared (beat) and to see it messed up, I just(beat) it was too much.
 
SAWA
Would you like to talk about it?
 
NOVA
(laughs)
No, not really. 
 
SAWA
It may help.
 
NOVA
God, I should have done this better.
 
SAWA
You did the best you could.
 
NOVA
But, this whole thing
 
SAWA
(Interrupting)
You did the best you could.
 
NOVA
(beat)
I did the best I could
 
SAWA
Your feelings are valid
 
NOVA
My feelings are valid
 
SAWA
This too will pass
 
NOVA
(beat, slightly hysterical)
Will it really?  Because it’s starting to feel like I’m going to be like this forever.
 
SAWA
You will not feel this way forever.  This too will pass.
 
NOVA
(beat)
This too will pass.
 
SAWA
A red sun rose over a clumsy nun. 
 
NOVA
A red sun rose over a clumsy nun
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